Feelings of not being able to cope are common to many parents, irrespective of age, experience, support systems, or feelings about the pregnancy. They mainly affect the primary care-giver, who is often the mother. There is considerable physical stress during the birth and afterwards — the physical tiredness is real, not imagined. Inevitably, the reality of constant feeding, dirty nappies and interrupted sleep contrasts dramatically with the blissful fantasy you had before the baby was brought home. As parents, you realise that caring for a baby is an enormous added responsibility — as the mother, you often still have to attend to the needs of other family members. In hospital the baby was nursed and your many needs taken care of. At home you may find that you have little or no support and that as well as caring for the baby, you still have a household to run. You may also need to return to work soon after the birth which can add to the stress.
One baby is hard work. Managing two or more babies at the same time can be very difficult for a couple. If you are expecting more than one baby, make sure that you organise plenty of support in advance of the birth. When the babies arrive, call on relatives, neighbours and friends to share in the sheer physical work involved in looking after more than one baby. Seek out other parents of children from multiple births, who may give you great hints, and some much needed understanding. Your local council or maternal and child health nurse will also be able to advise on what home-help and support services are available in your area.
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