Well, what is the best way to cope with stress? Let us discuss this under the following first five categories:
The danger of destructive behaviour. Never make things worse than what the stress calls for. In other words, do not punch the bonnet of the car. Violent reactions to stress are uncalled for and are normally regretted afterwards. This is the number one rule. Stress itself is bad enough; there is no need to make it worse.
The rule of exaggeration. Albert Ellis called this ‘catastrophization’. We all magnify stress and this is a normal psychological reaction. This is useful as we want to examine the details of the stress so as to resolve it. However, catastrophization is dangerous, as it blows things out of perspective. A small incident becomes a big incident, and our reaction is consequently out of proportion to what is called for.
Inability to sleep. Insomnia is useful in stressful situations, as it allows us to stay awake and search for a solution to resolve the situation. However, insomnia is useless if we just stay awake, feeling all distressed and sorry for ourselves, wishing the stress would go away. This kind of insomnia is not constructive, and perhaps some mild sleeping pills may help. If you are awake at night because of stress, tell yourself this is only useful if your thinking is constructively helping you sort out the issue so that you eventually resolve it Sometimes, when it is quiet and you are all alone, thoughts and intuition may come which may help you to tackle the challenge better. Of course, good sleep hygiene demands that you do all the thinking in another room and leave your bed for sleep and sex. The best way is, once you are in bed, to dissociate yourself from the stress you are experiencing. Practice self-relaxation, and be confident that you will sleep. Let tomorrow look after tomorrow.
Change irrational thoughts to rational ones. Along the lines of the rational emotive theory developed by Albert Ellis, some of our irrational thoughts are: ‘I must be loved and approved by every person in my life, I must achieve at all times, and it is the end of the world if things are not how I expect them to be’. We have to reconstruct a more logical and rational way of thinking. Cars break down everyday, although it is inconvenient, and this is an everyday ordinary stress. A car has to break down now and then; even a Rolls Royce has its hiccup.
Correct appropriate action. This is not easy, but, if you keep your head cool and follow the logical steps to resolve or minimize the impact of the stress in question, you will turn distress into success and become proud of how you handled yourself under stress. This is why astronauts need to practice all possible mishaps and emergencies, so that when they are under stress they know exactly what are the logical steps to take to avoid catastrophy and they can handle emergencies with ‘military precision’.
How? Look at the alternatives, use your imagination, spend all your time in constructive activity, use your head, solve the problem. If your boss misunderstands you, do not feel distressed. Use your magnifying glass and examine why. Explain to him, assert yourself, or change your behaviour so that the same misunderstanding will never happen again. If the car breaks down, use your head, not your fist. Use your magnifying glass to examine what is wrong with the car, and take appropriate action. If the car cannot be fixed, just bad luck, call a tow truck, and arrange alternative transportation.
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