1. Anti-lice shampoos are available from the chemist without a prescription. (They contain either malathion or pyriform as the active ingredient.) Pour the recommended amount onto dry hair and add enough warm water to form a lather. Shampoo the scalp and hair for several minutes and rinse thoroughly. Repeat this process in another week to ensure that both lice and eggs have been destroyed. This treatment is safe and effective, but if lice recur it may mean that your child has been in contact with an infected person again.

2. Comb out nits carefully with a fine-toothed comb. You do not need to shave your child’s hair, but an ordinary haircut may help a little.

When to see your doctor

• if your child is itching excessively and it interrupts his sleep;

• if sores develop on the scalp, and weep or spread.

Prevention

Lice are highly contagious, and can spread between families and between children in the same class. Check the whole family for lice, and even if you do not see any eggs or lice, it may well be worthwhile to treat other family members if they complain of an itchy scalp. It is important to let the child’s creche, kindergarten or school know that your child has lice. Keep your child at home until you have treated him with the shampoo. Clean and vacuum your child’s room, as well as any areas in which he has been playing. Soak all brushes and combs in anti-lice shampoo for several hours to disinfect them. Wash all bedding, blankets and clothes in hot water, and seal hats or other items which can’t be washed easily in plastic bags for 2-3 weeks in order to kill the eggs.

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Multiple births

One baby is hard work. Managing two or more babies at the same time can be very difficult for a couple. If you are expecting more than one baby, make sure that you organise plenty of support in advance of the birth. When the babies arrive, call on relatives, neighbours and friends to share in the sheer physical work involved in looking after more than one baby. Seek out other parents of children from multiple births, who may give you great hints, and some much needed understanding. Your local council or maternal and child health nurse will also be able to advise on what home-help and support services are available in your area.

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This is the Zisten, observe, verify, and emphasize technique. As you begin your super marital sex program, a key rule is never, but never, to respond to a feeling statement from your spouse without first reiterating that statement. Below are examples of the experiences of various couples from the thousand in the clinic program to illustrate the sexual sigs.

“I really want badly to have a new couch,” said the wife. Her husband’s reiteration, done only at my insistence, was, “I understand that you don’t like the furniture I bought.” The wife responded, “That’s right. You’ve got it.” There was no listening on either side, no observing of body language and facial gestures, no real verification of message or empathy for the partner. The L.O. V.E. technique is a prerequisite for sexual problem-solving.

Practice together at least once a day in your sex clinic. Send and receive messages with an emphasis on learning and listening, an emphasis on watching your partner while he or she talks, on trying to feel what the other is feeling while he or she is talking. “Try again,” I asked the couple. “This time, really watch each other and try to feel what is said, not just hear it.” “Okay,” said the wife. “I really, really want a new couch, just a new couch.” The husband reiterated, “I hear you saying that you really want a new couch.” He looked at me and shook his head. “Now what? She wants a couch. That’s no big deal.”

The husband was wrong. His wife said something, he heard it. That’s as much a start for learning good sex as not hearing a simple message is a start toward bad sex. The trick is to employ the L.O.V.E. sig when it counts, when important issues are being discussed. Always remember to listen, but also to watch each other, verify before responding, and emphasize empathy, trying to get the feeling, not just the words. Listen for each other, not from each other’s personal biases. Much more intimacy can result. It all starts with listening.

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Reverse everything you can in your marital system. For one week, change sides of the bed, change who gets up in the morning first, redistribute household chores, change who drives or who drives what car, just change everything. Change who cooks, who makes the beds, who watches television, who reads. Sit down together and plan this out.

Be sure to include your children in the planning of these changes. Get their input as to who does what in the marriage and their ideas on how to do this “cybernetics reversal” opportunity. It is cybernetic because it will make you more aware, more in touch with the other side of things in your marital system. These changes will not be easy, but you are not working for an easy sex marriage, you are working for a super sex marriage, one that is much wider, deeper, richer, and adaptable than you ever imagined.

When I presented this opportunity to the couple you have just read about, the husband responded, “Wait a minute. What does this have to do with our sex problem? What does this have to do with sex?” I didn’t have to answer. His wife took over. “I’ll tell you what it has to do with sex,” she explained. “It will give us a chance to learn from each other, maybe experience a little of what we each experience. I can’t wait to watch you fix dinner. And I guess I’ll have to get out my old baseball glove.”

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Scaly patches which look like eczema may also develop.

The scabies mite may cause such a rash and this may not be easily diagnosed. As scabies was rarely seen for many years, many doctors had never seen a case. Now it has become so common, other itchy rashes may be mistakingly thought to be scabies and treated as such.

Finding and identifying a burrow confirms the diagnosis. Removing the mite and examining it under the microscope provides positive proof.

Some sufferers may have the rash and the itch for several years.

Once a correct diagnosis is made, the correct treatment can be applied. The various preparations available are all cosmetically acceptable and most people are prepared to carry out the treatment.

Benzyl benzoate lotion and gamma benzene hex-achloride are the most effective chemicals, just as they are for pediculosis or louse infestation.

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Stimulant drugs such as adrenalin, present in the local anaesthetic used by dentists, and the bronchodilator drugs used in treating asthma, also need to be avoided.

The more commonly used tricyclic anti-depressants do not have this reaction and dietary control is unnecessary.

I remember treating a woman for depression with one of these agents. She complained of a severe headache, and had all the symptoms and some signs of a sub-arachnoid haemorrhage — a type of bleeding around the brain. I arranged for a specialist to see her and she was thoroughly examined. We were puzzled by the negative findings.

That same week we received a report from the makers of the drug stating that this side effect had been reported by research workers after the drug had been widely used.

I questioned my patient again and found that she had had a large meal of macaroni cheese on the evening she developed the symptoms.

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Children who have this condition have been called mongols because their typical appearance is similar to those who belong to the mongol race. However, the abnormality is generalised, affecting all the body.

Mental retardation always occurs, but it may be mild or severe.

Down’s syndrome occurs about once in every 660 births. There is a rarer form of this disorder which occurs as a hereditary factor where a recessive gene is carried by the parents. This is uncommon and it can occur to children of mothers of any age.

The risk of this happening in any pregnancy for those who carry the gene is one in four.

Where a child is born with Down’s syndrome, it is usual to test the genetic structure of the child and both parents.

In this way it can be determined whether the condition has occurred spontaneously and therefore the chances of it occurring in another pregnancy are the same statistically as for the rest of the population.

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I can’t stress too much that there are many other causes for each one of these symptoms. If you or anyone you know has one of them, it would be wise to have a checkup. If there is some other reason for them a clear report will save you a lot of unnecessary worry. If it is cancer, you will be giving yourself the best possible chance by picking it up early when treatment has the best chance of helping. Cancer won’t go away through you ignoring the symptoms. Not doing anything about it might seem the easiest way out but this is only being very hard on yourself in the long run.

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‘Breast cancer is what would really put me off HRT. In fact, I don’t think I’d even consider taking it.’

‘My mother died of breast cancer, and my doctor said I shouldn’t take HRT, but I’ve been feeling so low lately, so tired, and with awful hot flushes, that right now I think I’d honestly rather take the risk of dying slightly sooner from breast cancer. At least I’d enjoy the years until then.’

‘I really don’t know what to think. I read about TV stars saying how young they feel on HRT, then I hear stories about breast cancer. Some of my friends have found it wonderful, others just didn’t get on with it.’

‘One minute you read about how wonderful HRT is, and the next there’s a breast cancer scare.’

‘Eleven out of 12 women don’t get breast cancer.’

Breast cancer is one of the most controversial aspects of hormone replacement therapy. Fear of the disease is the main reason why women don’t want to take it and why doctors are reluctant to prescribe it. No sooner had the risk of endometrial cancer in women taking HRT been largely overcome when up popped the spectre of breast cancer.

So what exactly are the risks? It is worth pointing out that breast cancer has been around since long before HRT and that approximately one woman in 12 will develop it whether she is on HRT or not. So there is always this risk in the background.

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Reassuringly for those who do not have the urge to run or swim marathons, most of the benefits for heart health occur with moderate exercise programs. You can walk for a total of six hours a week, play golf for five hours or swim for four hours to achieve the level of activity necessary to provide significant benefits for health. Unfortunately, nearly 40% of women around the age of

menopause do not get this amount of exercise, if the Melbourne Women’s Midlife Health Project is any guide. A further 15% have borderline energy expenditure levels, while just under half have good or very good weekly activity levels.

A program of regular moderate physical activity is one of the first things to consider when feeling out of sorts. In general, it is best to set a manageable target, beginning slowly and increasing the level of activity progressively. Setting too high a target can be counter-productive and may send you backwards. Sticking to an exercise plan for a couple of weeks does wonders for morale and, instead of seeking excuses to avoid exercise, you may find you can’t start your activity program soon enough. In working out an exercise plan, there are some important factors to consider.

• The aim is to make regular physical activity part of your life, so choose something you enjoy — something that is convenient, interesting, can be done independently and is realistically achievable.

• If you are over forty years of age or have high blood pressure, diabetes or a known heart problem, check with your doctor before you start your plan. A preliminary health check is sometimes advisable anyway, especially if you intend working up to strenuous forms of activity.

• Always warm up for at least five minutes before exercising, and cool down afterwards. Include some stretching exercises in the warm-up to reduce the risk of muscle strain.

• Never exercise if you are not feeling well. If illness interrupts your plan, resume at a lower level and build up again slowly.

• Tell your doctor about any symptoms you experience during exercise, particularly chest discomfort or undue dizziness.

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